Do
you have children? How to educate them? By hit them or by give a reason in
everything? Which one your style in parenting? And how many style in parenting?
According to Elizabeth B. Hurlock's theory, parenting style is how parents in
educating children. While according to Chabib Thoha, parenting style means how
do parents in educating their children as a form of their responsibility to
child. According to Kohn, parenting style is how parents in educate children
either direcly or indirecly. According to Baumrind (in Santrock, 2002)
parenting style in educate children consist of three namely autoritarian
parenting style, autoritative parenting style and permissive parenting style.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSP_JqqSenGWfvVNMGiIlTO51kyravKCF4DWWgSk_cootTICLxwxPtd1JOnKF8DaFz3BlPFnHToVF2LfErwXG3jrSzAirsQC0PV0GzfOO5XMBboZU9lK5FQ_-TVDQPrJeQ7k0O8_rXLr-2/s320/how-to-avoid-the-authoritarian-parenting-style.jpg)
The first, authoritarian parenting
style. Parents who applying authoritarian parenting has the following
characteristic: rigid, assertive, punitive, lacking any compassion and sympaty
(Steward & Koch, 1983). Parents doesn't encourage and doesn't give
opportunity to child to be independent and rarely to gives praise. Sutari Imam
Barnadib (1986: 24) says that authoritarian parents doesn't give their children's
right to express opinions and convey their feelings. Children with
authoritarian parenting style tend to be hit by anxiety, grumpy, aggressive,
and have no pride (Baumrind, 1967;1971). Example: Mama invites Luan to the
store, Luan wanted to buy fireworks but Mama forbid him. When Luan ask why, Mama
said "cause I said so!".
The second, authoritative parenting
style. Authoritative parents enforce the rules, norms, and important values but
willing to listen, explain and negotiate (Lamborn, Mounts, Steinberg, and
Dornbusch, 1991). Many psychologist says that this parenting style is the right
method. Parents who applying this parenting style emphasizes positive logic,
mind and rarely gives punishment. Children with authoritative parenting style will
have independent characteristic, self-control, has a good relationship with the
environtment, able to deal with stress, coorperative towards others, and have an
interest in new things. Example: Mama invites Luan to the store, Luan wanted to
buy fireworks but Mama forbid him. When Luan ask why, Mama said "It's
dangerous sweetheart, it can hurts you. You can choose another toy".
The third, permissive parenting
style. While according to Baumrind in Papalia (2008:395) says that permissive
parenting style is parenting style that emphasizes on self-expression and
self-regulation. This parenting style tends to spoil the child, parent's rules
are very light even has no strick control against children. According to
Baumrind (1967) usually children are taken care with this style will have low
self-control, lack of confidence, and childish. Example: Mama invites Luan to
the store, Luan wanted to buy fireworks but Mama forbid him, then Luan crying.
Finally Mama allow Luan to buy the fireworks.
To sum up, the best parenting style that applied parents to
their children is authoritative parenting style. Many famous developmental
psychologists said that the most suitable for parenting is authoritative
because parents who apply this style always dialogue with their child, give and
take, always listen to complaints and child's opinion. Parents in act always
give the reasons to child, encourage children to help, act objectively and
assertive but full of love.
Bibliography:
Papalia,
Diane E., Sally Wendkos Old, and Ruth Duskin Feldman. Human Development. Trans. A. K. Anwar. Jakarta: Kencana Prenada
Media Group, 2008.
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