The Best Style in Parenting

             Do you have children? How to educate them? By hit them or by give a reason in everything? Which one your style in parenting? And how many style in parenting? According to Elizabeth B. Hurlock's theory, parenting style is how parents in educating children. While according to Chabib Thoha, parenting style means how do parents in educating their children as a form of their responsibility to child. According to Kohn, parenting style is how parents in educate children either direcly or indirecly. According to Baumrind (in Santrock, 2002) parenting style in educate children consist of three namely autoritarian parenting style, autoritative parenting style and permissive parenting style.

            The first, authoritarian parenting style. Parents who applying authoritarian parenting has the following characteristic: rigid, assertive, punitive, lacking any compassion and sympaty (Steward & Koch, 1983). Parents doesn't encourage and doesn't give opportunity to child to be independent and rarely to gives praise. Sutari Imam Barnadib (1986: 24) says that authoritarian parents doesn't give their children's right to express opinions and convey their feelings. Children with authoritarian parenting style tend to be hit by anxiety, grumpy, aggressive, and have no pride (Baumrind, 1967;1971). Example: Mama invites Luan to the store, Luan wanted to buy fireworks but Mama forbid him. When Luan ask why, Mama said "cause I said so!".

            The second, authoritative parenting style. Authoritative parents enforce the rules, norms, and important values but willing to listen, explain and negotiate (Lamborn, Mounts, Steinberg, and Dornbusch, 1991). Many psychologist says that this parenting style is the right method. Parents who applying this parenting style emphasizes positive logic, mind and rarely gives punishment. Children with authoritative parenting style will have independent characteristic, self-control, has a good relationship with the environtment, able to deal with stress, coorperative towards others, and have an interest in new things. Example: Mama invites Luan to the store, Luan wanted to buy fireworks but Mama forbid him. When Luan ask why, Mama said "It's dangerous sweetheart, it can hurts you. You can choose another toy".

            The third, permissive parenting style. While according to Baumrind in Papalia (2008:395) says that permissive parenting style is parenting style that emphasizes on self-expression and self-regulation. This parenting style tends to spoil the child, parent's rules are very light even has no strick control against children. According to Baumrind (1967) usually children are taken care with this style will have low self-control, lack of confidence, and childish. Example: Mama invites Luan to the store, Luan wanted to buy fireworks but Mama forbid him, then Luan crying. Finally Mama allow Luan to buy the fireworks.

            To sum up, the best parenting style that applied parents to their children is authoritative parenting style. Many famous developmental psychologists said that the most suitable for parenting is authoritative because parents who apply this style always dialogue with their child, give and take, always listen to complaints and child's opinion. Parents in act always give the reasons to child, encourage children to help, act objectively and assertive but full of love.

Bibliography:

Papalia, Diane E., Sally Wendkos Old, and Ruth Duskin Feldman. Human Development. Trans. A. K.             Anwar. Jakarta: Kencana Prenada Media Group, 2008.